Kahwen
A story I wrote in 2016 after befriending a frustrated hustler who spent most of his time commiserating and stressing about gathering money for a big wedding. This story contains Malay slang which may not be understandable to the non-Malaysian. Kahwen - marry, Tunang- engage. The majority of Malays in Malaysia do not speak English and it would seem disingenuous if my dialogue were completely in English.
(7-minute read)
Sofia adjusted her pale pink scarf and checked her reflection in the mirror. Her thick eyeliner was still intact, as it always was. Winged, seductive and augmenting a little movie star glamour to her almond-shaped eyes. Next, her skin. Not a smidgen of oil. Her new Silky Girl compact powder was taking kindly to her skin. Sofia was blessed with the type of complexion that withstood late nights, a bad diet and KL's tropical heat. She had all the conventional features of beauty - bright eyes, a cute nose and a wide smile. Perhaps that was why Sofia never worried about another girl looking better. In her mind, she was always prettier. It hurt no one to think that way. She clamped shut her compact mirror and surveyed the distance for a white Mercedes. None and ten minutes had passed. Ah typical.
Today had been a slow day at work and Sofia had spent most of it craftily learning a makeup tutorial on YouTube. Singer Liyana Fizzy had looked dazzling with her eye make-up during the AIM Awards. All that gold and black shadowing was stunning. Sofia had gone through 10 minutes of searching before she found a satisfactory replica in YouTube. She had patiently watched, her eyes darting up every now and then when someone walked past. She would practise this new technique over the weekend with the girls.
All that YouTube had caused her some lethargy. She had decided to wait outside the office where there was nowhere to sit. Aqil's call was slow to come and this caused her some irritability. Aqil picked her up for dinner everyday and it was a monotonous affair where both scrolled on Facebook and showed each other videos neither really cared about. Aqil would surf for cars and mansions and post it on Facebook, wearing his wannabe-rich badge for all to see.
Today they would go to One Utama instead of the usual mamak. She hadn't bothered to dress up when she woke up sleepy this morning. A billowy milk coloured blouse and unflattering black pants hung around her slightly chubby frame. She was bottom heavy and made it a point to take pictures waist up only. Exercising just seemed like too much work and mamak food was her staple.
Her clerical job in a mattress company didn't require her to dress up anyway. It paid enough for the occasional Starbucks and the online shopping on Instagram. There were hours in the day where there wasn't much to do and Sofia relished it. She would spend those hours on YouTube tutorials learning how to wear her scarf in the latest fashion and creating deep set eyes with eye shadow. Just the other day, she had seen Fatin's bridesmaid outfit on Instagram. The 211 likes had killed her with envy. Sofia managed 150 at the most on her most edited day. How in the world did Fatin get her scarf to stay that way? Sofia had gossiped about Fatin's outfit all week. "Ngada betul pakai macam tu," "Laaaaaaa, edit gila," yet another offered. "Tak lawa la, hidung penyek." All the girls had agreed, although each had secretly gone to Instagram and enlarged Fatin's photo in their attempts to learn her dexterous scarf-folding.
Aqil had listened with half an ear when she regaled him with the travesty of Fatin's scarf. "Macam nak rampas suami Kak Liza je," she had accused. He had seemed more preoccupied with the football match airing on the big screen in the mamak restaurant. After 5 years of being together, they were thoroughly familiar with each other. Desire was present sporadically, but no longer did she feel the carnal attraction that had once gripped her. Then, she felt like she betrayed the hijab she wore. All that animal desire didn't quite seem to go with the purity and chastity the hijab symbolized. But that was then.
Today she wore the hijab more proudly. She and Aqil irritated each other constantly and squabbled over the same things. Where once Aqil's ambitions drew her like a cub to its mother, she now counted to 3 when he talked about his latest exploit. "Can we talk about something else?" she would snap. Aqil normally acquiesced out of sheer good temper, but the other day, he had snapped back and what ensued was an argument that lasted for 5 days. Of course Aqil made the first move. Men always needed the affection, she thought righteously.
Today she would have to bring up the wedding. Sofia's jaw tightened and she felt the beginnings of a headache. Dread as she she may, June would be ending soon and she didn't want an uncertain second half. The wedding was a topic that had brought on an avalanche of arguments, breakups, makeups and silences between them. Cheating almost reared its head once. They had finally settled into a weak agreement of it happening this year. Too much conversation about it, and another blowup would occur.
All she needed was for Aqil to gather some money and then, they could start looking at designer "pelamins" together. She had a folder of pelamin pictures on her PC which she had shown Aqil. He never looked happy each time she did. "I'm saving the money okay," he would say tryingly. She would pull her laptop back and they would both stew for awhile until Aqil took her hand. The cycle repeated itself. Her mother’s "Bila nak kahwen?" was on constant playback. Off late Sofia had developed a dangerously low tolerance for that topic.
Aqil's Mercedes appeared at the corner and Sofia walked down the sloping road. She saw his silhouette from the tinted mirrors. Today he had on a floral cap and ridiculous helicopter pilot sunglasses. "Hi," Aqil said when she entered. "Nak makan ape hari ni?" "Burger King je lah," she said. Aqil nodded and reversed his car. The air conditioning was not working as usual. A wave of irritation enveloped Sofia. "Bila nak repair aircon? Buat I migraine la." "Eh, RM3000 tau nak repair," he retorted. Sofia decided not to reply. It was so easy to fall into an argument. He would snap back that he was saving for the wedding which she wanted.
Aqil was handsome the way a Casanova and loya buruk would look if they merged. He had an outgoing personality and boasted how he resembled Tony Stark. Too bad for that pregnant tummy though. Sometimes Sofia felt like the lesser of the two in the relationship. Aqil was a natural with people. Sofia was low key and friendly.
Still, having a husband and children were centrepiece to her community and she needed to expedite their nuptials. She needed him in a good mood today. "So projek apa lagi?" she asked, knowing how much he loved talking about work. Aqil took the bait. Energy came to his voice and he was swiftly caught up in a monologue of his expertise and latest client Haji Mukhriz. Sofia never really listened anymore but artfully played along, saying ummm ummmm every 5 seconds. "Oh ya. I jumpa awek Cina baru. Tak ingat nama dia tapi dia bawak kereta Lexus." Sofia stifled the urge to bonk his head. Aqil was so easily taken by materials. "Dia banyak klien. Mungkin kami nak buat projek sama-sama," he said with importance. "Namanya ............. Simpson kalau tak salah" Gag; went Sofia. "Mmmm baguslah, orang Cina kan pandai business," she replied sweetly. "Wah jarang la I jumpa pompuan nak jadi jutawan," he continued without listening.”Ha, nama dia Swensen.” Sofia rolled her eyes. "Hmmmmmm banyak la, you ni jakun." She tuned off in irritation and her phone surfaced.
His boring repetition went on until they turned into One Utama Shopping Centre. Parking was easy as it was evening and after parking near the mall entrance, Sofia and Aqil walked hand in hand to Burger King.
They ordered large meals and settled into their alone time immediately. Aqil was preoccupied with messaging his bad-paying clients, occasionally piping up a new development. Sofia answered absently, otherwise, she too was busy commenting on Facebook and editing her latest selfie. She waited 10 minutes before her plan went into action. "Sayang," she broke the silence when she noticed him putting his phone down. "Hmmmph?" he replied, looking at her.
"Abang Said ada program baru kat ntv7."
"Waw!"
Here goes, she thought to herself.
“Ya. I propose you shoot 12 episod. Dia macam okay je."
"Yakah?" He jumped excited.
"Ya tapi mungkin you kena pi Cameron Highlands."
"Oooooo takde masalah, waw, thanks beb. Bestnya berita niiiii," he pulled her close and kissed her on the cheek.
She settled in his embrace for awhile, feeling his satisfaction bubble over him. "I can almost assure you that you will get this job," she continued. She could feel his smile widening from behind her. "Jadi......" "Mmmmm," "Boleh tak kita set wedding date?"
He stiffened. She felt his thoughts whirring in the few seconds as realisation swept over him. He let her go briefly but then held her back.
"Okay la, by year end, kita kahwen," he replied matter-of-factly.
"Year end when?" she pressed.
"Nanti I check balik projek I," he replied.
"No, set a date now," she maintained firmly, some anger entering her voice.
"Jangan paksa I," he said annoyed. "Apa yang susah sangat nak set date?" she asked, obviously angry now.
"I checklah nanti...... Mungkin Disember atau January macam tu."
That was it. The tall paper cup of Pepsi went flying across the table and splashed violently on the floor. Sofia started crying and Aqil stared in disbelief. "You dah gile ke?" he burst out. "Bila you nak kahwen dengan I? Bila? You buat kawan-kawan I gelakkan I tau. You nak tunggu apa lagi? Cubalah jadi macam jantan sikit. Bertanggungjawablah sikit."
Aqil's mouth fell open at his fiance's unexpected outburst. He came closer and tried to shush her. The Chinese couple at the back were gawking at them. "Yang, jangan la." He comforted taking her hand. She swatted it away.
"You tau tak, Abang Hanef suka kat I tau......" "Sape?" cut Aqil. "Abang Hanef dari Harian Metro. Dia nak kahwen dengan I ......" Sofia was interrupted by the loud bang on the table. Aqil had slammed his fist on the table and the remnants of their half eaten burgers bounced in the air and fell unceremoniously on the floor. Sofia heard the the Chinese girl say "sot jor."
"I dah tunggu 5 tahun. I dah fedap nak menunggu! Bagitau I sekarang, kita kahwen ke tidak?"
"Kan I dah cakap ya.......
"Bila? Tahun ini?"
There was a long pause. "Okay la, kita kahwen tahun ini,"
Silence. Sofia continued to sob.
Aqil was staring painfully at the table when he finally broke the silence. "Duit hantaran you tinggi sangat Sofia."
Sofia's eyes widened. "Tapi ......."
"Susah I nak kumpul RM30K."
"Takkan RM15K pun takde....." she retorted.
Aqil let out an irritated sigh. "Banyak sangat benda you tak paham. Senang je you nak komen,"
"RM10K ada tak?"
The veins in Aqil's temples throbbed. "SOFIAAAAAAAA!"
Sofia went white. "RM5K?"
Aqil looked down painfully.
"Ya Allah."
She saw the shocked expression of the couple as she pushed past tables angrily. She hoped to God that no one was sick enough to video them and share it on Facebook. Years of anger had surfaced and erupted like Mount Vesuvius. Aqil would come after her. He always did. She had no transport anyway.
She didn't hear him thundering after her when she was outside the restaurant. Tears filled her eyes. She was halfway in the open air parking when she heard Aqil call her. Instantly, she ran to the taxi stand where several sleepy looking men were chatting.
She leaped into a car and breathlessly told her driver to head to Cheras. The driver, shocked at a frantic girl entering his car sensed her urgency and caught side of Aqil running to them. He gunned the motor and off they went leaving a shocked Aqil behind.
********************
4 months later, Sunday 9:06pm
Aqil felt his phone vibrating and snuck it out from his back pocket. He had been receiving congratulatory texts all day. Probably yet another message congratulating him. Sofia had announced their engagement a little too dramatically for his taste on Facebook and Instagram. From the corner of his eye, he saw Sofia laughing and kissing her girlfriends. In her white lace veil and exquisite gold makeup, Sofia made a ravishing bride. Fatin and the other girls crowded round her in their matching sea blue dresses and identical makeup. He turned to his phone.
It was Swensen. A Chinese girl he had been working with on side jobs to make the marriage dough.
“Hello Aqil :) has Bernama agreed to our proposal?”
He hesitated. Sofia's laughter rang in the background and the girls clustered for a Snapchat wefie. He started messaging, but quickly backspaced after 5 words. After a few seconds, he texted again.
“Tengah check. Besok I kabari.”
A heavy hand thumped his back. Aqil was ambushed by his male entourage and a riotous encounter of chortles and thumping took place.
"Bertunang akhirnya," one of them said. "Join the club," another commiserated and laughter followed.
********************
Monday 10:25pm
Swensen grabbed her water bottle and gulped thirstily. Dance class had been a major cardio affair as usual. Monday nights always guaranteed a flatter tummy for Tuesday morning. She picked up her phone from her dance bag. 5 messages. 2 messages from a client and 3 from Aqil.
Her client had confirmed a meeting. Awesome. Swensen tapped on Aqil's window.
“Mizz Swensen, Bernama masih no news.”
"Oh ya, yesterday I got engaged. Lupa nak bagitau.”
